Harry Potter + Star Wars = every kids' film ever!

Take a good look at this:

If you hadn't already noticed, 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' is exactly the same as 'Star Wars'. There is a very basic structure to 99% of fantasy stories. Most tend to be aimed at kids, but technically all fantasies can follow this structure. You don't have to study children's literature or read up on films to spot the similarities between a lot of films. Here are a few examples:

- The 'farm boy' protagonist - Luke Sykwalker / Harry Potter / Lyra Belacqua / Frodo Baggins / Eragon / Aladdin / King Arthur / Conan / Alice / Dorothy

- The absent parents - Parents are either dead or lost (usually because of the antagonist), resulting in:

- The boring, ordinary life - Work on a farm, horrible step-parents/aunt & uncle, poor but content, unhappy school life.

- The inciting incident - This almost always comes in the form of the 'saviour' character, who comes in and takes the protagonist away from their boring life, thrusting them into a land of thrilling heroics, where they must save the world. This character is often a mysterious male:

- The 'saviour' character - Obi-Wan Kenobi / Hagrid / Gandalf, Aragorn / Merlin

- The wise, old mentor character (often acting as the 'saviour' character also) - Obi-Wan Kenobi / Dumbledore / Gandalf / The Genie / Merlin.

- Inhuman bad guys (these are either not human or wear attire/masks that completely dehumanises them) - Storm Troopers / Death Eaters / Gobblers / Orcs.

- The best at... (the protagonist is often the best there is at something) - Quidditch (Harry Potter) / spaceship flying (Luke) / resistance to the ring (Frodo) / perseverance (Lyra) / chosen (Arthur).

- The parent-destroying antagonist - Darth Vader / Voldemort / Thulsa Doom.

There are plenty of other examples, but I'm sure you get the idea - kids' fantasy stories tend to follow the same basic structure. Usually, that story takes place through the course of one film ('Harry Potter', 'Aladdin'), but sometimes it takes an entire saga/series ('Star Wars', 'Lord of the Rings').


The question is - is it a good idea to follow this structure when writing such a story?

It's there for a reason right? If it ain't broke, don't fix it! 'Star Wars' and 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' follow this structure to the letter and they're among the most popular films ever made. But is the first 'Harry Potter' film that good? Is it a patch on the others? As the books/films progress they steer away from the classic structure, taking on their own stories.

'Star Wars' takes the standard structure and shifts it round a little, throwing in unexpected twists, such as the death of the saviour/mentor character and the revelation that Darth Vader is in fact Luke's father.

So I suppose the key is to take the standard, classic structure and to subvert it. Audiences know what film makers are doing. When they go to the cinema, they can see when they're being told the same story time and time again. Everyone's a critic!

From a creative outlook, you don't want to do what everyone else has done. You want to make it as different and original as possible. And you should.

However, if it's too different, it won't work. I don't mean it won't work as a story, just that it may not working from a 'I want to get this movie made' angle.

Producers (they're the folk who fork up all the money for our creative dreams) know what works. They're probably more well-versed than anyone on what's hot at the moment and they're looking for something similar.

They'll know the 'Star Wars' structure like the back of their muggle hand and when hearing about a story, if it's similar, they'll know it'll sell. But if it's just too different, they won't be interested - because it's not done having a rich, happy protagonist meet a hip, young mentor chap, then fighting ordinary villains to save the not-so-perilous world.

From this post, I'm now convinced that the key to writing a good, saleable kids' fantasy film is to take the classic structure and subvert it until it's original, but not unrecognisable. And with that in mind, I'll be off to write my story about a young orphan who is rescued by a nice old man and then realises that it is his destiny to fight the parent-murdering overlord who threatens the world.

Good day to you, readers.

Post-Apocalypse Awesomeness

What is it about post-apocalyptic (P-A) stories that make me insanely giddy with excitement? I think those who like them, love them. I've come to the conclusion that the main appeal of P-A tales are the fact that it could happen!

You watch something like SPIDERMAN and think "Gee, wish I could be Spiderman! :(" But you're not. You know you're not. You're never going to have those powers. Maybe as a kid there's hope, but as the years go by and you get older and older, you are certain you will never become Doncaster's Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman.

However, the whole point of a P-A story is that is hasn't happened yet! So technically, no matter how old you become, you could, one day, find yourself in such a world. And that, my friends, is - in my opinion - the reason P-A stories appeal to me so much.

Another reason is the look they have. Ridley Scott practically created the visuals of a P-A world in BLADE RUNNER and ever since, movies have attempted to mimic it, adding new, interesting twists. Take a look at this bizzaro, futuristic landscape:

Some other great P-A landscapes include THE MATRIX, TERMINATOR, MAD MAX. These sorts of settings take something we know and distort them, turning them into something familiar, yet alien.

Another attractive visual element of the P-A movie is the clothes. It's chance to - yet again - take the familiar and distort it. Sometimes things become more basic, as is the case in THE MATRIX:

Often, a military aspect is taken in the film and therefore, the clothes match. THE TERMINATOR is one such example.

Joss Whedon's DOLLHOUSE features a 'what if' episode, where we're zapped 10 years into the future and given a taste of a P-A Dollverse. The clothes worn in 'Epitaph One' (the episode in question) are similar to those worn in a lot of P-A movies because the characters live in a harsh, hostile and cold world. They wear layers and carry as much as possible, simply because they never know when they'll need it:

So in case we suddenly find ourselves in a P-A world, here's a checklist of clothes you should have in your house:

• Heavy combat boots
• Durable, dark trousers (preferably jeans)
• Vest
• Jumper
• Hoody
  
• Long, brownish coat and/or short, black leather jacket
• Fingerless gloves
• Fake dirt to apply to the face

What about everyone else? What makes you so excited about P-A films? The look, the possibilities, the story (which I haven't talked about at all!)? Let me know.

Spartacus: Blood and Sand

"How many men would you kill to hold your wife again?"
"I would kill them all."

Something I'm very much looking forward to in 2010 is SPARTACUS: BLOOD AND SAND.

This is the TV show based on the historical character who brought down the Roman Empire. There's very little known about the man and what he did, meaning that history can be played with. I'm 100% certain that the show will be insanely inaccurate (based on Roman lifestyle and history) but I'm also 100% certain it will be fun.

The most comforting thing for me is that one of the chief writers is Steve DeKnight, (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, ANGEL, DOLLHOUSE, SMALLVILLE). He knows what he's doing and specialiases in dark action pieces. He gave us some of the best ANGEL episodes, including 'The Girl in Question' (hilarious), 'Apocalypse, Nowish' (incredible action), 'Damage' (very dark).

The show stars Andy Whitfield (in the title role), John Hannah, Erin Cummings and Lucy Lawless. Done in the style of 300, it won't be to everyone's tastes but I think it's worth a look. With one of my favourite writers in such an influencial role, I'm very excited. It looks incredibly violent (which I always and enjoy) and has its fair share of sex. Think 300 meets GLADIATOR. Check out the trailer and let me know what you think:

Weekly Interview (7)

Here's an interview with writer/director Neil Marshall (DOG SOLDIERS, THE DESCENT) talks about the blending of genres and the practicality of shooting, specifically in relation to DOOMSDAY. Enjoy...

Chocolatey Characters

Stay with me on this post, folks. Please! It's a little long-winded, but entertaining (I hope). You should come away with one or two interesting character ideas.

There's one good thing that comes from working in a shop - you meet a lot of people. Folk pick up their goods and potter on over to the till, where I - the bored-out-of-my-mind Sales Assistant (as we're called) - take everything, shoot it through the till, slap it in a bag and take the money (to put in the till, I might add).

Now we're clear on how retail works (for those who have been living on a spaceship for the last 100 years), let me explain how working in a chocolate shop works:

People come in and wander round, staring at all the yummy goodness, slowly loading up their baskets like mindless, sugar-fueled chocoholics, until, yes - the basket is full. Then they make their way over to little old me - Neil - who has spent all day counting out 50 little items, putting them in a bag, then zapping them through the zapper thingy and chucking them on the shelves *

And they are greeted with a smile. They place their chocolatey baskets next to the till and the fun begins. If I'm in a weird mood, I'll scan everything through the till, making an odd expression; one that says "Whoa! You've got a lot of shit here! You really shouldn't be eating so much chocolate! I'm judging you for this!"

This leads to the best thing about working in a chocolate shop - the justification.

At this junction, people feel the need to explain why they have such a large basket of 'bad for your health' chocolate. And now, to the point of this rambling post - people say the weirdest things when justifying their unhealthy eating. Here's some of them:

We'll start with the classics. These are the ones I hear most and never fail to amuse:

- "It's not all for me!" - Everyone's heard it, everyone's said it. Of course it's not all for you! It's for your husband, your wife, your kids, your aunt, your uncle, your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews, your third cousin twice removed, your pet dragon! No matter what, all this chocolate is not for you! This justification is customarily followed by the 'Ah, now I understand' nod and/or a 'If you say so' smile.

- "I'm on a diet" - Not really a justification as opposed to a downright lie! No, you're not on a diet! If you were on a diet, you wouldn't be buying 10 bags of Misshapes and a Fudge! This is merely a way of addressing the fact that the chocolate they've bought has exceeded £20. Everyone thinks they're the first to say it and laughs proudly at their original sense of humour. This annoying explanation is followed by a forced laugh on my part. Not one so obvious that I'm taking the piss, but just forced enough so the person realises I've heard it all before.

- "There's so much chocolate in here!" - Yes, it's a chocolate shop! I'm pretty sure you were expecting a certain amount of chocolate when you walked in here! Nevertheless, this is a way of saying that because the shop contains so much chocolate, they are powerless to resist - they must buy at least 10% of the entire stock, otherwise they will die! Yes, DIE! This is almost always followed by 'You're not wrong!', 'Well observed!' or (if I'm very tired) an 'Mmmm' in agreement.

- "It's for my friends in America!" - Is it really? This is interesting. Last I checked, they had chocolate shops in the US and they were very weird on the subject of taking food into their country. Be honest, people - it's not for your friend in America, it's for you to enjoy while watching an episode of Eastenders! If I'm feeling particularly smart that day, I'll say 'Oh? Where abouts do they live?'. Some people (the experienced chocolate-buyers) will have their story well rehearsed and will reply (with no hesitation) "New York". They always get a suspicious eye-squint. Most people however, come out with this: "Erm.....they er......just south of.....on the map.....to the left of that.....state....you know.....the one that.......New York! They live in New York! Ha!" The response - laughter.

These justifications go on and on, but what I really want to say is that occasionally, you get some pretty weird ones! Here are a few I've heard and they're on this blog because they might be useful for some sort of character creation. Use what you will - I hope they spark ideas. Please note that all of these explanations have been used and none whatsoever have been made up:

- "I can't drink tea without food!" - As we all know, it is a physical impossibility to drink a cup of tea without it being accompanied by some form of sustenance. Moreover, this sustenance must come in the form of chocolate! Don't fight it, just eat it!

- "It's cold!" - Yes, this person was under the impression that chocolate now serves as a heating device.

- "My car's in the garage!" - It speaks for itself really. This person is planning on one thing and one thing only - building a form of transport out of chocolate! I wish this gentleman all the luck in the world with his epic endeavour!

- "I've run out of change!" - This is the person who has only a £20 note and requires a 10p piece. So what do they do? Spend £9.90 on chocolate!

- "I've not got long left!" - This old lady was probably in her 80s. Upon realising her imminent death, she decided to go out in style - by purchasing over £30 of chocolate. I pity the person who found her!

- "You're quite thin!" - Yes, readers, I am in fact quite a thin person. So this woman clearly feels the need to make herself that little bit fatter, just to even things out - restore balance to the world.

- "It's my child's first day at school tomorrow!" - What better way to make your kid fit in at a new school, than to send him with tonnes of chocolate? I'm absolutely certain there is no chance of him being jumped and brutally beaten to death by 30 sugar-starved five-year-olds. He'll be fine!

- "The wife's out of town!" - This fellow likes to live dangerously. His wife has put a ban on all things sugary and rules the household with an iron fist! No bag passes through the front door without her thorough inspection. But while she's away, the prisoners go wild - splashing out on Giant Buttons!

- "My daddy said I couldn't have this!" - Another adrenaline junkie, this time in the form of a 6 year-old boy. After being told under no uncertain terms that Trident Sugar free Gum was off-limits, the sneaky bugger decided to go ahead and grab one anyway. 'They're 49p each, or two for 60p...' I tempted, holding another strip. Doubt flickered in his eyes. The biggest choice of his life! Confusion as he glanced from the gum to the pound coin in his tiny hand. "........okay......." he replied. With a broad smile, I took his money and told him to hide the gum in his pockets. He crept out the door like a jungle cat - fearless and proud with his decision!

That's all I have for now. Hopefully something there gave someone an idea. Congrats on getting to the end of what was a most unusual blog post. Farewell fellow scribes and remember: next time you're in a chocolate shop, thinking of justification for all the stuff you've bought - say something clever!

* Please note - I always place chocolate carefully on the shelves. Never is anything broken in my hands! I take my job very, very seriously!

iCarly

While we was in New York, Rachel and I became very slightly obsessed with a kids' show called iCarly. It is, without a doubt, one of the smartest and funniest kids' shows I've ever seen.

In short, it's about three kids (Carly, Sam and Freddie) who host a webshow every week, while being watched over by Carly's big brother Spencer. In this episode, the kids come across a TV show that completely rips off their show. So in response, they travel to the studio and do battle with the evil TV writers. But how do three teenagers face up to highly annoying writers?

Just take a look at this quick clip and you'll see what I mean. It's either love or hate methinks. Hopefully you'll be like me and you'll love it! I can't embed the vid, but take a look on youtube.

New York Adventure

So, I spent the past week in the Big Apple. It was probably the second best holiday I've been on (the Cayman Islands has retained first position for many a year). We spent a day wandering round Central Park (that makes it seem like you're nowhere near a giant city) and another exploring shops (Bloomingdale's, Macy's et al - overrated!)

We got the ferry over to see the Statue of Liberty and stopped off at Ellis Island on the way back. Quite a good day, but that was when the weather heated up - there was a lot of ducking and diving into shade! In the queue on Liberty Island, I came across possibly the most idiotic person on the face of the planet.

Two Americans were having a conversation with two other people. The conversation went something like this:

Americans: So, where you from?
Austrians: Austria.
Americans: Wow! So do you ski?
Austrians: Erm....no.
Americans: Live on a mountain?
Austrians: No....
Americans: Oh.........
Austrians: ...................
Americans: So......do you speak French and American then?
Austrians: Well, it's German in Austria, so German.
Americans: And American?
Austrians: English!
Americans: Oh yeah, we butchered the English language!

*Awkward silence*

American Kid: Mommy, who built the Statue of Liberty?
Americans: Ah, well, the British made the English build it when Christopher Columbus first came over.
American Kid: Wow! Thanks! *Writes answer down on their little quiz. Smiles innocently.*

I wonder whether those people actually knew what they were going to see that day! I'm thinking you could have shown them a bloody spaceship and they'd have been none the wiser! Nevertheless, they brightened up our day! Feel a little sorry for the kid though; let's just hope he goes to a bloody good school!

Another day, we made our way to the 82nd floor of the Empire State Building. It was a good day so the view was great. You could see Liberty Island, Brooklyn Bridge and much more.

We also went to Hard Rock cafe one night, which was awesome. They're obsessed with the Beatles over there, so you wouldn't be surprised to find one of George Harrison's acoustic guitars on the wall. It was an enjoyable night with some groovy music (obviously).

One night that wasn't so groovy, was the meal at Lindy's. Service was crap and the food wasn't that great. In the US, you tip practically everything, usually somewhere between 10% and 20%. The bill came at Lindy's and circled in red pen was the following:

Service:
Great - 18%
Excellent - 20%

I was rather stunned, mainly because of the fact that the service was shit! Then when they took the card to pay, the guy asked "Which was it?" meaning great or excellent? Shocked a little bit more, we said "Erm.....can we give in cash?" He nodded and sorted out the card. Then, when no-one was looking, we scarpered without leaving a tip. The look I got as we fled was quite funny (and scary). The moral - don't eat at Lindy's!

We were planning on going to a comedy show one night. In Times Square, most people stand around saying "Do you like standup comedy?" You usually brush these people off with "No thanks". It becomes a habit.

Turns out the best way to get you to stop and listen is for a black guy to stand there, look at you and say "Do you like black people?"

You tend to pause at that point. Anyway, after a 10 minute comedy conversation, we bought some tickets to the Comic Strip. We were assured that Mr Chris Rock might spontaneously turn up for drinks, but alas he did not. It was a good night, about 3 hours of 15-min slots. You got quite a variety and if you didn't like anyone, it wasn't too bad. Everyone seemed to leave after one poor bloke who wasn't funny at all. He just said random things like "Isn't it funny when you come out of the restroom and someone's waiting?!" Silence.

You can't go to New York without seeing a Broadway show, so off we went to the ticket office and got seats for Phantom of the Opera. Never seen it before (all I knew was Nightwish's version of the title song). But it was pretty awesome, all apart from the stupid bitch in front of me who felt the need to lean forward every 2 minutes to get a better look, thus blocking my view. As payback, when she turned the camera around to take a picture of herself, we flagged her off. She'll have a nice holiday pic!

We went round a few museums too, including the Natural History Museum, MoMA, Met, Guggenheim et al. Got all cultured with the art houses, but I'm sorry, is this really art? Yeah, didn't think so! Nevertheless, there it was. And all the while, insanely talented people work on the streets drawing portraits. It's a screwed up world we live in!

I laughed quite hard at the sign that had a quote, then "Unknown Latin author". If you're like me, you'll get the annoyance of that! I looked and "WTF??!! Unknown Latin author?!" Got out the vid camera and recorded it. Dad watched it and said "Unknown Latin author?!" Idiots shouldn't be allowed to write signs!

We had some major thunderstorms too. A tornado passed on one side, while a storm passed on the other. As we arrived at the airport (to come home), there was lightning every 30 seconds which wasn't great. We were delayed but made it. wasn't a great flight though - a wee bit bumpy.

That's all I can remember at the moment, but sure there's something I'm missing. I documented the whole thing and am planning on putting together a 'Best Of' vid for the blog. Should get it done next week.

Hope everyone's had a good week :)

PS: Here's one for the film buffs: