So yes, not my best work. However, I thought the final ten minutes were very good. I'd personally be terrified by my antagonist - Mrs Stewart (who may or may not be named after a teacher at my old school). She's a psychotic psychic and controls the body of every single person in the school. All apart from my heroic trio of psychics. It's up to them to save the day. Here's one segment of the script:
They storm past a classroom and glance inside. The teacher is on his feet, staring through the door as they go past; the children's heads turned towards them.
This ain't good!
Another classroom. The teacher is at the door. The children are standing by their desks, facing them.
She's got everyone! Where do we go?!
A classroom door opens ahead of them. Darrell extends his hand and it slams shut as they charge past. Every child in that room is at the door.
Personally, I thought that aspect was quite good and scary for a kids' drama.
Anyway, I'm not too depressed about not getting any further. It was a valuable learning experience - I never would have written anything for children if it weren't for the competition. And I'm considering beefing up my idea and making it more adult.
Congratulations to those who did get through to the next stage - well written. And to those who didn't - there are plenty more competitions to enter into. And on the bright side, you can go back to saying "fuck" in your scripts now!